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Selfish smoker in cigarette projectile incident

When are smokers just going to fuck off? I was walking into the station this morning, following a woman that was smoking, which was unpleasant enough. But when she reached the door, after having taken a few desperate last puffs, she flicked her bastard cigarette, which was still lit, behind her and it hit me.

Excuse me!” I exclaimed, “you threw a fag at me!“. I didn’t hear what she then said because I had my iPod turned up loud, but from the expression on her face, her hand gestures and her body language I surmised that she considered it to be my fault. I told her that she was selfish and careless before walking off, since to stick around and argue it further would have probably been fruitless and would have caused me to miss my train.

Seriously, when are smokers going to fucking realise that everyone fucking hates them, take all the fucking hints that are now being rammed down their throats, and give up their despicable, bastard habit? Smoking should be banned from ALL public places, restricted only to private residences. I won’t be happy until smoking is considered more taboo and reprehensible than pedophilia.

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The Amazing Eat Properly and Exercise Diet Plan

As regular readers and pretty much anyone who’s seen me in the flesh at any point over the past year will know, I’ve lost an incredible amount of weight in the thirteen months from the middle of November 2006 until now. I’m delighted to announce that in that time I have lost 3st 12lbs (54lbs total, 24.5kg), so just short of 4 stone. I’m really very happy about this; I look very different to how I looked last Christmas and I feel as good as I look.

Observe the following chart by way of illustration. Note that I only started to keep daily weight and body fat records in April, so the first half of the chart is very linear. I knew what I weighed in the middle of November 2006 but have no intermediate data between then and April.

Weight loss since November 2006

Weight loss since November 2006

As you can see I am now very comfortably within healthy ranges for both weight and body fat after previously suffering dramatic excess in both regards. So what’s the secret? As I’ve said before, there really is no rocket science or witchcraft involved. It’s a simple question of eating properly (not “dieting”, as such) and getting regular and effective exercise. It really does work!

My diet is low carbohydrate, low fat, low sugar and high protein. My metabolic type dictates this and it transpires that it’s not actually that necessary for my diet to be low fat, it just so happens that I don’t particularly like fatty foods. The important aspects are that it must be low-carb and that the number of calories ingested in a daily basis must not exceed the resting metabolic rate plus whatever exercise I may do. I avoid foods such as bread, rice, pasta and cereals as these all have high amounts of carbohydrates.

I eat lots of fruit (apples and bananas in particular), meat, eggs, some vegetables (because although I know they’re good for me I’ve never been that mad on them) and I stick to calorie free versions of fizzy drinks (Diet Coke and Coke Zero in particular) when I’m not drinking water. I’ve also cut back on the alcohol, usually restricting it only to weekends and never binge drinking or getting drunk.

My anal attention to detail regarding the gathering, storage and processing of statistics has allowed me to conduct reasonable calculations relating to how I have lost the weight. I keep an accurate record of physical activity, including gym activity and walking. I do a lot of walking since I have no car, live in a city and make extensive use of public transport, so its impact on my fitness is considerable.

I record my physical activities in terms of the estimated number of calories used, which can be reasonably accurately calculated. When doing cardio work in the gym the cardio machines actually tell you how many calories you burn, so that’s easy. For weights and resistance work I use a rough estimate of 2 calories per repetition, which averages out over light reps and heavy reps. Then for walking I calculate the calories based on a reasonable estimation of 300 calories per hour at a normal pace. Research on the Internet suggests that all these estimations are reasonable.

So, during the period in question I have used a total of 62,455 calories through exercise. I also know that I have lost 54lbs in weight. It’s an established fact that 1lb of fat equates to approximately 3,500 calories (that is, to lose 1lb of body fat, one’s body must burn 3,500 calories). 54lbs therefore equates to 189,000 calories, that is, I have created a calorie deficiency of 189,000 over 13 months in order to lose 54lbs of weight.

If I’ve burnt 62,455 calories through exercise then that leaves 126,545 calories lost through eating properly (because “dieting” really is the wrong term). From these figures I’m therefore able to extrapolate the following chart, showing the proportionate methods of weight loss and the number of pounds lost through each method:

Lb loss per activity

Lb loss per activity

My plans for the new year is to not lose any more weight but to concentrate fully on reducing my body fat. I need to maintain my weight, and even put some back on, but keep reducing my body fat by concentrating more on the resistance training and less on the cardio. The eating habits will stay pretty much the same although I will likely have to eat even more protein than I already am.

Yay me, frankly. I’ve worked hard for this an I deserve it. I look good and I feel good and I seem to get a lot more attention these days because of it!

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Smoking ban in public places and workplaces

It’s really not come quickly enough, but it’s finally here. As from 6.00am tomorrow morning smoking will be banned in enclosed public places and workplaces in England, following the successful examples already set in Scotland, Wales and a number of other EU countries. I have four words: Thank fuck for that.

No longer will have I have to put up with that revolting smell on my clothes or have smoke blown in my face or endure burns on my arms and shoulders from careless cunts waving their fucking burning cancer sticks around. The irony of this is that I’m going out tonight, on the last night when smoking in a nightclub will be legal, and I’ll bet that people will be smoking more than usual in order to mark the occasion. Still, I’ll be happy in the knowledge that it’ll be the last ever time I have to put up with it.

The jury’s still out on whether or not the smoking ban in other parts of the UK has contributed to an increase in the number of people kicking the habit, but frankly I don’t give a fuck about that, all I care about is that they don’t smoke around me. It’s up to them whether or not they give up, they know the risks, they’re not state secrets. Nobody needs to smoke.

It’s a revolting habit and the only reason why it’s not banned outright is purely because the government would to have to make up the duty revenue lost elsewhere, so smokers can continue to pay their cancer tax as far as I’m concerned, so long as I don’t have to deal with their fucking selfishness in public. Indeed, the only area in which the new law falls short is pavements; it’s still legal to smoke on the pavement, and there’s nothing worse than following a smoker along the pavement who’s blowing smoke over their shoulder.

What I did find amusing, however, was the story that I heard the other day about how designated outdoor “smoking shelters” are now illegal, since they are technically enclosed public spaces and therefore it’s illegal to smoke in them. Where they exist they’re mostly being dismantled, thus forcing the smokers that previously used them to smoke exposed to the elements.

One of the better decisions taken by New Labour and finally implemented under Brown’s New New Labour. More like that please.

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Health and Safety idiots

These days, we live in a culture where health and safety is considered to be of paramount importance above all else. Everything is secured and sanitised in order that the possibility of danger is kept to an absolute minimum, and for the most part, this is entirely correct. However, often health and safety rules, regulations and restrictions, dreamt up and put in place by well meaning lawmakers and council officials, are impractical, expensive and inconvenient. Nonetheless, they are forced upon us by these health and safety Nazis under the principle that “it’s for our own good” and that we need to be protected from danger (including ourselves) at all times.

Fine. It’s inconvenient and annoying but the principles are at the end of the day difficult to argue with, so I have to accept it. But there’s one area in which this culture of health and safety seems to be completely ineffectual, and I want to know why. I can’t speak for other places, although I suspect it’s much the same, but in Manchester there’s another annoying “culture”: Stupid pedestrians.

Why are the health and safety handwringers not doing anything to stop people from wandering out in the middle of the road without looking? Where is the council worker with his clipboard and his rulebook when there’s a mother with her push-chair standing between two opposing lanes of traffic waiting to cross the road 50 yards away from a pedestrian crossing? Where is the fat-pensioned civil servant from the Health & Safety Executive when the group of drunken tarts from the University with all their skin hanging out choose to walk along the double yellow lines of Oxford Road in the small hours of the morning instead of the empty pavement? Where is the patronising government advertising campaign that many people quite clearly need to tell them the purpose of and difference between the red man and the green man at traffic light crossings?

Stupid pedestrian culture is clearly very very dangerous, much more dangerous than not having a contrasting border around your electrical sockets, or having your kitchen worksurfaces above a certain maximum height, or not recording every single little bruise and graze in a fucking “accident book”. And yet, nothing is done about it. Why?

I know why. The question was rhetorical. It’s one thing to create rules, regulations and restrictions, it’s quite another to enforce them upon the unwashed masses. Controlling the public as they walk through the streets will be seen as an infringement on civil liberties, and the civil liberties/human rights handwringers can wring their hands a lot harder than any health and safety handwringer could possibly ever dream of doing.

It’s still not right though, and it fucking pisses me off.